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Naturally, my cousins and I were Paul bears at her funeral. The funeral home was up a hill with a busy road leading down into the valley.As we are carrying her casket out to the hearst, it slipped out of our hands and began to tumble downhill. We started to chase after it, but it was moving too fast to stop it.On the way down the hill I ran into a pharmacy and asked the pharmacist: “Do you have something to stop this coffin?”A bit of British Humor... I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he’s only got one arm bless him.I shouted - “Where you off to Charlie?”He said, “I’m off to change a light bulb.”“That’s gonna be a bit awkward init?”“Not really.” he said. “I still have the receipt, you insensitive bastard.”Went out last night and got really wasted.I woke up this morning next to a fat old bird who was snoring.So, at least I got home OK.Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control in Athens airport.“Nationality?” asks the immigration officer.“German,” she replies.“Occupation?”“No, just. I finished up my drink and headed out. On the way her eyes and mine met just for that split second again then she was gone.I went home to my lonely flat and wondered what I was going to do. One thing for sure I wasn't going to take on Mr Leaman head on.Fate then took a hand and my job at the Wine Bar ceased to be and I became unemployed. There were always vacancies for bar staff at the 'Kit Cat Club' so I applied; I was taken on straight away."Don't I know you?" asked the existing barman on my first night."I've drank in here a few times," I said."Yeah that must be it," he said and went to serve a new customer.She came in at midnight and asked for a glass of champagne."That's on the house," whispered Pete my fellow barman, "she's the boss's girlfriend."I kept my eyes down as I served her but as I pushed her drink across the bar our fingers touched."Sorry," I said and our eyes met and again my heart said there was something there.Mr Leaman came in just minutes later and whisked her.
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